Crushing Contradiction

Contradictions are everywhere.

I was at my daughter Charley's "start of year 12" information session tonight.

They talked about "how you need to be on top of assessments, study routines & university applications", then in the next sentence talked about "self-care, plenty of sleep and reducing stress".

One literally negates the other. Charley's face said it all.

This is the world we live in. Contradictory directions. We are told we need to do it all, even though there are obvious and direct tradeoffs. Achieving one overtly undermines the other.

It's almost as if by sharing the contradictions, they can be avoided.

They can't.

The real danger is the expectation this creates in our heads. That we should be able to do both.

We then try and do both - as if the contradiction can disappear through sheer effort and force of will.

But expecting to do it all is unrealistic. That's how we set ourselves up for failure, and feel like we have failed, even when it wasn't realistic to start with.

Unfortunately, by then we have drunk the Kool-Aid and believe it is achievable "if I just try harder".

So we throw ourselves at it again. Even though it is STILL UNREALISTIC.

The truth is contradictions can only be managed by acknowledging them. That there is a tradeoff or a compromise somewhere, in the murky middle.

So we stop expecting the impossible from ourselves and those around us.

And we stop rethinking every decision - trying to figure out where we went wrong.

Because we didn't

So I said to Charley - let's just make a plan that works best for you. Do the work - but enjoy year 12. Study when you need to, but ensure you are enjoying life. Do your best to learn and live, with reasonable boundaries.

What more can we truly expect?