Freeze Moments

Today I had one of those freeze moments!

I was getting my car serviced, and had a new 2024 Lexus loan car - with all new gadgets!

After picking my daughters up from school, we decided to drive through Maccas to pick up some shakes.

I went to open the door to reach the tap & pay, when suddenly the engine cut out, the car started beeping and the lights all began flashing.

As I tried even harder to open the door (pressing random buttons - hoping to "unlock" something) my daughters slid down in their seats - laughing at my angst!

Needless to say, 60 seconds later, I felt flustered. I couldn't open the door. I couldn't get the car out of drive into park. I couldn't get the car to start. I couldn't stop it beeping!

As it became obvious that I was holding up the traffic, (cars now honking) I started to feel panicked. I have been driving for decades - but I couldn't get anything to work and as I kept trying (and failing) my anxiety catapulted. My kids were no longer laughing - and even the 15-year-old Maccas employee looked concerned at the traffic banking up.

So I stopped. Took a deep breath. And started again.

I had tried all of the things that would normally work. But this car was newer and different. I needed to go back to first principles - to try something different. Now what had I been doing just before the car went haywire?

I had tried to open the door to lean over and pay.

My door was still not opening, so I asked my daughters if their doors would open. After an initial "no" I hear a pause and then "oh - wait Mum. You have to pull the handle twice - fast".

So I did - and lo and behold the door opened (finally). The beeping then stopped, the engine started, and I could move forward.

I was filled with a wave of relief.

So what is the point of this story?

When we are under pressure our emotions take over and we end up reacting rather than thinking. As the pressure builds, we try harder - rather than being smarter - until we can step back and consciously override our emotions. To not just react, but choose our response.

That is what makes us human - and different to every other species.

But it's not easy. As I was reminded today.

Emotional regulation takes effort and practice. To understand our own triggers so we can interrupt the surge of feelings, and intentionally choose a different way forward.

I hate holding people up (a real trigger of mine). It may have just been a 2 minute line delay at maccas, but the adrenaline and rising panic was real. But thankfully, I was able to step back.

Only when we know ourselves can we choose our response, and have our emotions enhance our lives, rather than overwhelm it.